Welcome To Cool Quotes Home Links Contacts Friday, November 20, 2009

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  Funny Quotes
"My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying."
Ed Furgol
"Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery."
Spike Milligan
"What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money."
Henny Youngman
"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."
Bob Hope
"A woman drove me to drink ... and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her."
W C Fields
"I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it."
W C Fields
"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."
George Burns
"We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress."
Unknown
"Don't worry about avoiding temptation...As you grow older, it will avoid you."
Unknown
"Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But ... everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out."
Unknown