Welcome To Cool Quotes Home Links Contacts Friday, November 20, 2009

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  Funny Quotes
"My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one."
Bob Hope
"I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do."
Phyllis Diller
"My mother didn't breast-feed me. She said she liked me as a friend."
Rodney Dangerfield
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society."
Mark Twain
"I just installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious!"
Steven Wright
"The other teams could make trouble for us if they win."
Yogi Berra
"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
Alexander Graham Bell
"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."
Rodney Dangerfield
"The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small."
Woody Allen
"Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."
W C Fields