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"How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?"
"I am at two with nature."
"I tended to place my wife under a pedestal."
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."
"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."
"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank."
"It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off."
"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon."
"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
"More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly."
