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andy rooney quotes
"The only people who say worse things about politicians than reporters do are other politicians."
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
"I've learned ... that life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes."
"I've learned ... that money doesn't buy class."
"I've learned ... that no one is perfect until you fall in
love with them."
"I've learned ... that opportunities are never lost; someone
will take the ones you miss."
"I've learned ... that when you harbour bitterness,
happiness will dock elsewhere."
"I've learned ... that one should keep his words both soft
and tender because tomorrow he may have to eat them."
"I've learned ... that a smile is an inexpensive way to
improve your looks."
"I've learned ... that the less time I have to work with,
the more things I get done."