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"Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand."
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"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with."
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"Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied."
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"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress."
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"The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten."
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"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."
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"Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do."
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"Let us endeavor to live, so that when we die, even the undertaker will be sorry."
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"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."
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"A man with a new idea is a crank -- until the idea succeeds."
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