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"First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity."
"He who can , does. He who cannot, teaches."
"My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately."
"A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education."
"It is most unwise for people in love to marry."
"You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?""
"Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability."
"What is both surprising and delightful is that spectators are allowed, and even expected, to join in the vocal part of the game... There is no reason why the field should not try to put the batsman off his stroke at the critical moment by neatly timed disparagements of his wife's fidelity and his mother's respectability."
"Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended."
"What use are cartridges in battle? I always carry chocolate instead."