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"A learned man is an idler who kills time with study. Beware of his false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance."
"I like a bit of mongrel myself, whether it's a man or a dog; they're the best for everyday."
"If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance."
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them."
"If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson, hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example."
"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."
"What is both surprising and delightful is that spectators are allowed, and even expected, to join in the vocal part of the game.... There is no reason why the field should not try to put the batsman off his stroke at the critical moment by neatly timed disparagements of his wife's fidelity and his mother's respectability."
"Most people do not pray; they only beg."
"Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!"