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"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools."
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"Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen to God."
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"God tells us to burden him with whatever burdens us."
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"Weave in faith and God will find the thread."
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"Maybe the atheist cannot find God for the same reason a thief cannot find a policeman."
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"You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list. The longer your list, the smaller your God."
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"Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off."
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"When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute."
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"We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it."
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"A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip."
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