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  woody allen quotes
"I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia."

"The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more."

"I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers."

"When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."

"Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."

"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?"

"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."

"When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back."

"Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun."

"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?"

 

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